Featured image: A picture of me in a hovel of books at Meow Wolf Denver.
So you googled me; I get it, you’re doing your job, and I can’t fault you for that. When you googled me, you found my Instagram, which, I’m sure to your pleasure, has no evidence of illegal tomfoolery. You then found this blog, and you might be thinking: “Wow, this girl is really weird and posts way too much about her life,” but I dare say that it’s the internet, and everyone posts away too much about their life. Talking about life experiences shouldn’t discredit my professionalism.
You may have also found the book I wrote when I was 15-16. Ignore that. I am a different writer these days. But it goes to show how long I’ve been at this. I started writing short stories in 4th grade after reading Chronicles of Narnia, thus starting a hobby that accelerated at a fast pace. Over the years, this hobby has accumulated into a giant pile of handwritten stories stashed away in my parent’s house that I refuse to get rid of despite how poorly written they are. I went on to finish a book in high school and sold 40 copies. With my ego boosted, I went to college for creative writing, where I wrote an 80-page senior thesis that sucked the soul out of my body and left me questioning if I was ever a good writer in the first place, but I did get an A-.
I graduated and struggled to find a job because this economy does not appreciate good spellers as much as schooling taught me to believe. So I taught after-school STEAM classes and served breakfast, lunch, and dinner to the elderly for minimum wage so I could pay my student loan payments. I then got my first office job as a medical technology client support specialist, just in time for the entire world to shut down about six weeks later.
I eventually left that job for something that seemed more in my wheelhouse, proposal writing. Unfortunately, I struggled with getting anyone to answer my emails or questions, and I was let go only a week after telling my supervisor I was having a tough time mentally. I won somewhere around $800,000 in proposals in four months, never broke a rule, and was never late on a deliverable, but I wasn’t trained very well. I was told that I did not know enough about pharmaceutical science, and that I should have just quit. So it goes.
After that little stint, I was a front-door COVID screener, scanning vaccination cards and performing rapid tests on visitors. I organized hundreds of vaccination cards into alphabetical order because no one else would. I fixed several computers and cell phones for people, among other tasks that I was happy to help with, even though it wasn’t in my job description
I also taught art classes; I organized, planned, and instructed classes for students of varying ages and abilities. And if you know anything about how COVID has affected our youth, it was an entirely different experience than when I was teaching in 2019. But I loved it.
I can do anything when I’m trained properly. I went from writing silly stories in college to teaching children and feeding elderly residents to helping nurses figure out why the system isn’t reflexing a PCR order after a positive rapid test is entered, during the height of COVID no less. And the reason I knew how to do any of that, was that I had training.
All this to say, I’m an extremely capable young woman, and you should hire me. I’m never late; I’m usually uncomfortably early. I always participate in coworker outings, break room birthday parties, company picnics, et cetera. I’m fun and good at keeping morale up (I would give you coworker references if applications had a space for that). I was a “pleasure to have in class,” and I will be a pleasure to have in your office (or Zoom, I guess).
Bonus Content:
(If you’re new here, I usually post extraneous info in this section.)
I actually have an interview today, the day I’m posting this. Wish me luck.
Damn, That's Crazy 